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23 January 2013

When you hit the brick wall

You know those little voices in your head? The ones that thrive on self doubt and whisper lies?

They visited me in San Francisco today.

As much as this is an opportunity of a lifetime, it is also very difficult. Long hours. Away from my family. Pushing myself to the max.

And there it was. 
BAM!

The brick wall. I hit it. Hard.



Nothing seemed to come together. Everything was a fail.

That's when I began to question what I am doing here. What I am doing thinking I'm a goldsmith. How could I imagine success in this business.

Being an entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart. You are ever evolving. Always planning. Constantly trying to be "one step ahead". It's draining.

That's where the self talk came in. Self talk is interesting. You can allow it to tear you down, or you can actually empower yourself.

I was in tear down mode. For most of the day I felt as if I was head first into the wall. I felt crushed in spirit. Defeated.

Then. Then I was reminded that what I do is so much more than "just jewelry".  Yes I absolutely want to create for you exquisite designs that you will treasure. But even more I want to connect with you. I want to make an impact on this world that leaves deeper footprints than gold or silver.

I want us to walk alongside each other, as well as we can in this online world. It would be easy for me to hide behind my screen and create a larger than life artist persona...but that's not who I am. 

I'm just a girl. A wife. A mom. An artist. An entrepreneur. A friend.

I may not be the very best at what I do. But I create with passion and heart, and I love it. Each day I strive to be better. Some days I succeed....others not so much.

But either way, I want to share that experience with you. 

And today? Today I just need a hug.

xooxoxoxoxxxo
lisa

14 comments:

  1. It is SO HARD to be away from your family even for a short time, doing something for yourself, but it is SO WORTH it! Been there, done that, and I'm the better for it! I have been enjoying reading your blog and I'm so fascinated to hear about how you are growing your skills and your business. It's inspring! *hugs* from this Indiana gal also in the FW area. :)

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  2. I am in that mode more often than not sometimes, especially when it comes to my business. You try and you try and you try to balance it all and keep the negative out and it's sometimes near to impossible to do. I feel your pain.

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  3. Big HUGS to you Lisa! You are an amazing, creative, loving person. Do not let those voices try to convince you of anything less. God has allowed you to go to San Francisco and He is right by your side. You are where you should be for this short time. Lace up your running shoes and take a deep breathe. You've got this my friend!

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  4. Lisa, I hear you. My emotions are on a different level, but I tend to feel a loneliness inside me that never seem to go away, even when I'm surrounded by friends and family. It's strange to have so much passion and yet have feelings like this. My head is often far too noisy for my own good, similar to your self talk. Someone gave me the advice to try to quiet my head and feel with my gut and heart. If you need to connect let me know, I'm an hour or so north in Sonoma County. Although we met at Blissdom quite a few years ago you made quite the impression on me. I'd love to help in any way that I can.

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  5. You have discovered the difference of striving for success versus striving for significance. You are living a life of significance. That is truly a gift that you have blessed so many with as you grow and impact the world on levels so much deeper than your "product" of incredible creations. God bless and give you peace today kiddo!

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  6. Lisa ... Look THROUGH the wall to your goal. The best things are difficult to achieve. Working hard makes it more satisfying in the end. You do have the talent, I've known that for a long time. And you are lucky to be able to expand your skill set at Revere. This is something you will remember for the rest of your life. Enjoy it! Bob:J24-7

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  7. I love how open you are, it is truly refreshing. On another note I needed to read this. It hit home with me and... well just thank you for being you! *hugs

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  8. I had a car accident almost 4 yrs ago.. since I have learned how to make jewellery, as this is all that I think of now.. My site is Stepping Out In Style~ My Way... doing what I love and as hard as it is with daily pain I manage to get through , I am inspired by your beautiful work..

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  9. Although it seems an immovable obstacle, a brick wall can be rearranged. The bricks can be stacked up into steps, making a staircase, to climb right over. The view from the top is sure a lot different than the view from the bottom.
    You are right about self talk, that is where it starts. Most often by selectively turning it off, and then enabling only the positive conversation. You are doing great, nothing in goldsmithing is a fail. It is all a learning experience. Just look at how far you have come in the past 2 weeks. Take a few minutes to admire the fabulous things you have made. You are on the right path. Just trust in that.

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  10. it's gonna be okay (really, it will)
    ~HUGS~

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  11. Even in the midst of the pain, your heart is beautiful. Praying God will make you stronger through your time in San Fran. {hugs}

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  12. Thank you for open up and share your thoughts, your ups and downs. Your words hit home ..... reading your blog make me feel that I am not alone!

    Thank you again!

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Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment! If you have an email attached to your comment I can connect with you!

Otherwise, feel free to email ME! hello@StudioJewel.com

xo, lisa