Is it time for a Railroad Switch?

I need a new water cooler to hang around.

In talking to myself...yes I really do that...several questions keep coming up.  Can I really do all things well? What is my motivation?

Sometimes all I really want to do is bake bread. Or decorate my mantel. Or play a game. Or paint for fun. Or plant a garden. Or write a story.

Sometimes the pull to do other things than fashion jewelry is very strong. Sometimes the idea of heading to the studio makes me feel sick.

Light bulb.

Time to process and re-evaluate.

At what point did my train head down the wrong track?

With the pressure to succeed and the power of social media I am keenly aware of what "everyone" else is doing. We've talked about this before. That bloody two edged sword. I am so easily sucked into the comparison game. It's one I have played since I was a child. I'm good at it, dang it. But it's not the water cooler I yearn to linger around.

I work so much and so often. I have my small people around me and I'm with them, but am I "with" them? Usually I'm thinking about what I need to do next to sell more, promote more, make more.

Please don't misread me, I love my job. I love making jewelry. I love FIRE. I delight in the creative process. 

When I designed this ring the other day, my heart sang. Why? Because not only did I fabricate something I adore, but I am able to share that with you. The prospect of making someone else happy with that very design fires me up.

However, I have another reality. The "have to". I have to work. I don't have the luxury to just "be". Our life requires me to have a job, and I love being a contributor to our family income. For a time when my husband was unemployed we counted on my income implicitly. I think that's when my train jumped the track. I believe that in that era, when the pressure was so high to succeed for the very sake of funding our basic needs, I found myself in this frenzy of more more more.

But seriously. Since when is more ever enough?

Train whistle. Railroad switch.

New direction. New normal.

One that exists in my head and on my heart. One that will be healthier for me and so in turn make me a better wife and mom. One that feeds my creative side. One that plays more games. One that writes more. One that has more coffee with friends.One that bakes more breads. One that braids more hair. One that plays more catch.

Breathe.

Just breathe.

Will the business go away if I stop my constant promoting and "working it"?

Possibly.

But my gain? A new found freedom that I crave. More real time with my kids. More time to embrace me.

Welcome to my water cooler. 

We talk creative ideas. We encourage each other in our passions. We get excited to hear who won that riveting game of Uno last night. We want to know what your concocting for dinner tonight. We have remedies for toothaches and cramps. We are community. We celebrate each other. We hug more. We like each other.

...welcome, I like me here...in fact...I like you here too...

xoxo
lisa