Ten ways to keep the heat and romance in your marriage - the PG13 version!

Today is the celebration of my 19th wedding anniversary. Nineteen years. That's a lot. 

I'd like to tell you it's been 19 years of wedded bliss. I'd like to tell you I'm the perfect wife and he the perfect man. But I cannot. What I DO know is that perfection does NOT exist.

What I also know is that I love this man. Deeply. Passionately. Intimately.

He is my rock and my best friend.

If you want to read more about our partnership, you can click here for a post I wrote last October.

But this post is not about that. 

This post is about turning up the heat. And keeping that fire lit!!

I might get a little PG-13, so if you are my children...stop reading! ;)

Here's the thing, 19 years later and this man can still take my breath away!

our engagement photo circa 1993!

But we have worked at it...and we made an effort. Now? It seems easy(er). Here are my tips for turning up the heat in your marriage.

1. Have fun. Be playful. Even when you don't feel like it. Remember what you were like when you started dating. Tease him. Tempt him. A whispered promise in the morning. A saucy text in the afternoon. A note in his car. 
2. Date him. We failed miserably at this, and paid the price. We used kids, and busyness of life as the excuse. Don't. Now that we started doing it more regularly we have learned to communicate even more. More communication leads to more romance. More romance leads to...well, you know!
3. Touch him when no one is looking - you know...in places only you can! Gently brush up against him...your hand, parts of your body...be creative! Again, it's playful. It's naughty. It's fun to do when your kids are in the other room. It tells him you're still interested. You want him.
4. Hold hands. It's easy. It's a simple connection. It's incredibly intimate. It shows you belong to each other. The simple act of touching connects you.
5. Girls...INITIATE sex. We all know HE wants it. But you need to want it too. And he needs you to want him. Go to bed naked. Lock the door on a Sunday afternoon. Sneak in the shower. Surprise him!
6. Wear sexy underwear. I don't care if you don't think they are comfortable. I don't even care if you don't think you don't look good in them. He will. He is so visually stimulated. Even showing him the bag that holds the lacy little things will do "something". And can I encourage you to try a thong for his sake? Trust me on this one!
7. Make an effort to look pretty when you go out...even if it's to your kids baseball game. I'm not talking get all gussied up. I'm talking about making an effort to present yourself well. He takes great pride in you...give him a reason to.
8. Be playful IN the bedroom. Try something new. Something erotic. Massage oil? Creams? Feathers? Toys? (yes I just said toys.) Every once in awhile do something completely out of character. Something totally sensual. He will never forget it.
9. Kiss. A lot. Kiss hello. Kiss goodbye. Kiss as you pass him in the living room. Kiss him goodnight. And don't forget to kiss him hard sometimes. You know how. You've at least seen it done in the movies. He will like it!
10. Take care of your body. We all know bodies change. That's just life. But let him see you caring about how you look, for yourself...and for him. Go for walks together. Hiking. Biking. Find something that you both love. And then go shower together when you're done!
11. BONUS: The single most intimate thing we do together is pray. I know this isn't for everyone...but for us...it has brought us together on a whole new level. It is so amazing to hear my man pray for me...seriously awesome!

These are just a few suggestions. And it's taking me a long time to learn this much. I can only imagine how much more I have to learn!

What I do know is that we've ONLY been married 19 years! In 7 short years we will be all alone. Empty-nesters! I don't want us to look at each other and wonder who that person is. I also don't want to have to rediscover romance when it's too late. 

Sex and being sexual is such a huge part of our society. It's shown as so cheap. So dirty. It tempts and taunts from every corner. That's because we have been created as sexual beings. Something so beautiful, designed for our enjoyment! A wedding gift.

And I don't know about you...but this is the one wedding gift I plan on getting the most use out of!

So even though I'll be spending my evening on a ball field...you can bet I'll be dabbing on a sweet scent, I'll be wearing something amazing UNDER my jeans and tank top. And I'll be teasing and taunting all day, maybe even whispering in his ear at the game. Oh, the heat will definitely be on!

Happy Anniversary baby. I love you with ALL my heart!

xxoxoxoxxo

lisa