Today's post...my favorite thing. It's fun. It's exciting. It's new.
But my heart isn't in it. My heart hurts today. For a friend. For what might have been my story.
My friend lost her baby sister. To suicide. That might have been me.
My friend is left with a grief no family member should ever have to bear. I may have done that to my family.
My friend and her family had to make hard decisions about organ donation. It never crossed my mind.
You see, it's by the grace of God that I am here today. Depression is my story. If you want to read more...just type depression in the search box on my blog. It's real. It's ugly. It's a disease. There is help.
But this is not just about me, or my friends sister.
This is about many of you who struggle with this EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. This is about the ones left behind asking questions of why? This is about getting help. Moving on. There is so much to this story.
The bottom line?
There is NOTHING wrong with you!
If this is your struggle. Get help. If you were having issues with your heart, or your kidneys, or your liver...you would seek out help. Depression is no different.
I take medication every day. Maybe for the rest of my life. I spent countless hours with a wonderful therapist.
I am not ashamed. I am empowered. I am able to cope. I am able to choose joy. I am winning!
You can too.
Do you need help? Do you know someone who does? Here's a thought. Don't wait another second.
Save this number in your phone. Use it when you or somebody needs it. National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255. (800-273-TALK) {from Heather's blog post}
What Heather wants us to see in her grief is the pain, and the joy in celebrating her sisters life...but that reality of organ donation in critical times in very, very real. Don't wait to make a decision. Don't wait to let your loved ones know your desire. Don't leave anyone guessing.
Please. If I am talking to you today...my proverbial door is always open...talk to me. But more importantly...JUST.GET.HELP. It's ok. You are not alone. You will be glad you did. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is joy in the morning. I promise you that.
And please, head over to my friends blog post. Read her story. Hear her heart. Encourage her. I know you don't know her. But she is a true gem, and right now she hurts. A word of kindness goes a long way.
Thank you for reading. I love you with all my heart.
~ lisa
So sorry for your loss Lisa. And thank you for the heartfelt post. Hugs. Kathy
ReplyDeleteSo sorry. Prayers for comfort lifted.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Amelia
As the mom of a child (19) that passed away,not from suicide,I know the pain and unanswered questions and the "what ifs" and the "maybe I should have" I can tell you,that what you are feeling is normal,and that grief comes in stages,but ,each grief is different for every person.My advice,is for you to understand,YOU.I say this,because many people mean well and they will say inappropiate words of comfort,just YOU grief and take all the time YOU need,your body will let you know,when it's time,to stop.
ReplyDeleteDepression is a difficult path. I too struggle with it myself.
ReplyDeleteMay she be at peace now and {{sending love and strength}} to her family.
When my father passed organ donation seemed to drag on the grieving process but unselfishly we decided that 2 extra days would give someone a chance at life.
Now I have signed on for organ donation as well.
I never realized how much he helped others by what we decided for him. Letters came streaming in from people who were blessed by a second chance.
((hugs))
Hugs. Big hugs. All the hugs.
ReplyDeleteI too struggled with the ugly depression for years, until I was down one day, and determined to find happiness. We all have those times, life is never easy, but we can get through it. Reach out, take someone's hand and help pick up a soul. Everyone could use a hand.
ReplyDeleteWe lost my niece to suicide in March on her Grandpa's birthday which is a hard day for us all as he passed away 9 years ago. It is so hard to heal from and to understand the whys. It was also a happy day for my other niece (different side of the family) as she got married that day. So, it is a hard day for me and my kids because of all of that. I hope that your friend finds peace and remembers the good times with her sister as we are trying to do with my niece. And I am so glad your family did not have to deal with this since you got help in time. Prayers for comfort for you all. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThat's so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI cannot begin to imagine the terrible hurt and grief being experienced by this girl's family. So glad that you found good medical help and are overcoming this terrible disease. Praying for comfort for you and this family and for continued strength for all those who suffer from depression.
ReplyDeleteLisa, thank you for your beautiful and kind words. I hope I get to see you in the near future. Never give up the fight.
ReplyDeleteIf there is one thing I'm taking from this experience it's that you cannot ever make yourself unworthy of love. No one can say anything that will make me stop loving a person. And I wish I had been able to convey that to her in time.
There was a lot of hurt in that hospital room, but not one bit of it mattered we'd go through every moment again to have her alive and whole.
The only thing I could give her was dignity and I was willing to fight for it, but in the end all of us saw that was the only thing we could do for her.
Always fight the fight, Lisa. You are loved, by more people than you can imagine.
heather you are beautiful...inside and out. my heart hurts for you and your family. you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. and i will continue to fight every day...if not for me...for those that love me.
DeleteLisa, I did not know you suffered from depression. I did as well! Mine was coupled with a chronic panic disorder. I went the whole nine yards, psychiatrist, counseling, medication, etc. I too am still taking an antidepressant and probably will for the rest of my life. Nothing wrong with it. I love and agree with everything you said regarding depression.
ReplyDeleteDepression is not the victim's fault. When it comes, there's little you can do on your own to stop its onslaught. It's vicious, unrelenting, and horrendous. Worst of all, to those who pass the "victim" on the street it's silent and invisible. It's debilitating, crushing, and scary. A depressed person feels lonely, out of sorts, sometimes paranoid, distant, and detached.
I never contemplated suicide unless you consider the times I drove down the highway, saw an oncoming semi and thought to myself, "If I just turned my steering wheel a little bit toward the left..."
I am so, so sorry for your friend in the horrible loss of a precious sister. Suicide is THE worst because it leaves those remaining with so many unanswered questions, not to mention untold heartache and deep sadness. I shall be praying for her and for the other family members involved.
Thank GOD there is hope, healing, and wholeness after depression, and when you come through on the other side of it, you are SO MUCH BETTER FOR HAVING GONE THROUGH IT. I can say that in all honesty because it's so, so true. I've learned so much about my body, soul, and mind and the way they all work together. I've learned coping skills and tips on how to talk myself down the rungs of a ladder from a panic attack.
I could go on...but enough is enough. Haha.
Love and Hugs...