Tattoos. Ink.
It's time to tackle the subject. One of the most frequently asked question I get for my "ask Lisa" posts has to do with my tattoos.
What are they?
What do they mean?
Why did you get them?
Any regrets?
And will you allow your children to get them?
Let's start at the beginning shall we? Because after all…it IS a very good place to start.
I have wanted a tattoo for as long as I can remember. Long before they were cool, or even socially acceptable.
I knew my parents would be vehemently opposed. So this one time in my life...I did the right thing. Avoided the ink. (at least for awhile.)
Honestly, I never looked at my desire for a tattoo as an act of rebellion. To me, it always seemed to be self-expression. I am an artist. I am visual. I suppose I just like things that maybe aren't the norm for everyone else.
Fast-forward many years. And the tattoo "itch" was getting stronger.
Our fourth child was almost two years old…and we were about to be married for 10 years. I wanted something to commemorate that occasion. I wanted something I could give my man as a gift. It would be a gift right? He would love it right?
I did my research and design processing for about six months. And on our 10th anniversary I headed to a friend-tattoo artist and had the words "I am my beloved and my beloved is mine" tattooed on my hip in Hebrew. I added our anniversary date and a vine design.
Happy anniversary babe!
I love this tattoo so much. It's small. It's private. It's between him and I. Very few have ever seen it. (yeah, you're not going to see it either. sorta weird to post a photo of my hip!)
What they say is true. Once you have a tattoo that you love. You want more. You start thinking about your "next" ink almost immediately. Our 20th anniversary is coming in April. To date...I have five tattoos.
For me…this artwork is my stake in the ground. Each one marks something I want to remember. They are symbols of who I am, and what is important to me. I don't see them as rebellious. I don't see them as attention-getting. My tattoos are for me.
I love art. I love sketching. I love self-expression. Those elements are all encompassed in the ink I have had permanently placed on my body. From my marriage - to my children - to words of encouragement - to a guiding Bible verse.
For me.
Often people get tattoos because it's something on their bucket list. A slight form of rebellion. A bit of "look at me!". Or "everyone else is doing it". With that attitude there are bound to be regrets. I have zero regrets.
A tattoo can give you a voice. I believe a visual can often speak so much louder than a word. If it speaks to you. If it tells your story. If it celebrates something important to you. Then it is so beautiful and so powerful and so intimate.
My tattoos have given me a physical voice as well. For as many raised eyebrows as I encounter, I also get inquisitive questions. "What does it say?", they will ask. And then I have a choice. I can give them the quickie matter-of-fact answer. Or sometimes...if I sense in them an openness, and a real desire to know… I will tell them more. I'll elaborate more. My arms are my testimony. They are truth.
And this, this is why have tattoos.
For me.
My voice.
My story.
Will I allow it? Absolutely.
When they are mature enough to put thought into what it is they want to commemorate or celebrate or remember, and then….why. If they can articulate that, I believe they are ready. But that's me. Not you.
Noah got his first ink last summer. I took him. He paid. No regrets.
Last night he asked me to schedule him for another. I love what he wants. I love why he wants it.
For him.
His story.
I know tattoos are not for everyone. And I know there are a lot, and I mean a LOT of ugly. Like total shudder worthy ugly! But hey, that's their story, right? Don't be a hater!
All I'm asking is that if you don't like them, you open your mind to why someone may have chosen that artwork. Maybe they are not rebellious. Maybe they have a story to tell.
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| seriously only photo of my ankle! |
So what would you choose? What would be your stake in the ground? What is YOUR story?
I would love to know!
And thank you Nan, for asking. You get a $25 gift certificate since I chose you! If you have a question for me, please email me here. Ask me anything :) And if I choose you, you get a $25 gift certificate to my website! Yay!
xoxoxoxoxo
lisa
Well......
ReplyDeleteI got my first tattoo about a month and half ago. At 34. And married with 3 kids. Like you, I'd wanted one forever and ever but I knew my parents would hate it. So I waited and waited and waited.
It's funny how much our stories are the same. I wanted my tattoo for me. Only a few people know I have it. It's on my side, on my ribcage and it's not big at all. 5 birds, one for each person in my family. Me, the hubs, my 3 boys. I wanted something that represented me and what was important to me. Those 4 men (big and little) are my life.
Now, my oldest FREAKED out about it. He's adjusting. He's also 8. I'm trying to not let it bother me. And I remind him when he comments on other people's that it is not his place to judge someone based on their looks OR their tattoos. It's what's inside. And I remind him that I am still the same mama he had pre-tattoo and I love him no less and he loves me no less. It's just part of who I am. The other 2...they don't care. The middle, he thinks its cool. The youngest (only 2) knows no difference.
I love it. I don't regret it. I'm so glad I waited until I chose something meaningful and significant to me.
Love your story.
wow. thank YOU for sharing your story. it's beautiful. and i bet your ink is beautiful too! way to go sister!
DeleteI grew up in a culture where tattoos are bad. period. the whole you go to hell for getting one sort of thing. fun times. Mind you I was never in that thought process, which is why I have left most of that behind. There is one tattoo I have been dreaming and scheming for many years now and it won't come to fruition for at least another few years. At my wedding there was a waitress, adorable sweet young lady seriously she made the reception that much better, she had a very simple yet simply amazing tattoo, a little heart behind her left ear near her hairline. It was hard to see, thank goodness since that amazing tattoo fearing culture was there to celebrate with me (yay family) but I fell in love with it. I have since been scheming about what I want to do and have decided I want to have a trail of little hearts running down from behind my hear to the back of my neck along my hairline. I want a heart for my husband and I as well as each baby we have been able to hold and that we have lost. Now as we are not done with having babies this of course needs to wait so that I know how many hearts need to be there ;) I do know that where I want it might change but the need for this will not, it has been on my mind for 6 years now and it just won't go away.
ReplyDeletethat is beautiful! i love your idea so much! i can't wait to see it :)
DeleteI love tattoos. Well, I love well-done, meaningful, thought out tattoos. There is some seriously gorgeous art that can happen when ink meets skin.
ReplyDeleteWould I get one? No. I've thought about it. I've thought about what I would want and where, but my final answer has always been no. I don't think they're for me. But if I were to see you, I'd probably ask about your tattoo - and if I asked, I'd want the whole story. I think I love the stories that push art into being as much as the art itself.
and i love that you know that. that you know they aren't FOR you. but you still can appreciate other peoples choices. that makes you a beautiful soul!
DeleteI got my first tattoo when I was in college and, like you, it marked something very significant in my life. It is hidden as well and I have no regrets. I have been itching for #2 for at least 3 years but haven't pulled the trigger yet. It to will be something personal and meaningful. I love them when they are well thought out and artistic. And my family has come around too ;)
ReplyDeletewoot! can't wait to see what you choose! :)
Deletei would like a tattoo to commemorate each of my kids, there are several words/phrases Id like to have, and the image of a butterfly. also probably something irish. none yet but a lot of ideas. i love your tattoos and the ones I know of their significance. You are a beautiful artist and you have a beautiful canvas to decorate :)
ReplyDeleteyou are sweet Jenna! Thank you for your kind words. I cannot wait to see what you choose!
DeleteLike Jill, I got my first tattoo when I was in college...and wow, I never knew my mother could freak out like that. She thought it was something only "trashy" women would do, and she told me no one would ever hire me if they knew I had "that thing" on my back shoulder. However, I got mine because it celebrated both my college graduation and the subsequent crossing of, what I viewed as, the final threshold into adulthood. After seeing my mother's reaction to it, I couldn't help regretting it just a little.
ReplyDeleteFor years, she would tell me how horrid it was; and she even tried to get me to cover it up with makeup at my wedding. I wouldn't. Firstly, I'm very fair-skinned and, let's be honest, what would look worse--a tattoo or a big blotch of poorly matched makeup on my back? But I mostly decided not to cover it up because it is a part of me, and as you said Lisa, it's part of my story. I knew there would be mixed reactions, and the best came from my grandmother's 80-something year old best friend who poked it and said "I like it. It's sassy!"
Since then, I've gotten three more tattoos; all of them are publicly visible because I want other young women to know that having tattoos does not mean you're trashy, it does not mean you are any less intelligent, and it has no effect whatsoever on your abilities as a professional. In fact, I was the first openly-tattooed president of my state professional association! It garnered more than a few side-eyed looks at the annual conference, but my tattoos were also a great conversation starter with questions ranging from "What's the story behind those?" to "Do you think it would be ok for me to get one on my wrist, as well?" With any luck, I'm helping to alter the stereotypes of what professional women "should" look like.
yes yes yes! *nods head* *high fives* fist bumps* you nailed it. 100%. xoxo
DeleteI got my first tattoo at 20. A small kanji on my left shoulder blade. A blazing sun in the middle of my shoulder blades was second. My latest piece, which is my story of the hell I survived for many years with an abusive, controlling ex is far from finished. It starts on my right shoulder blade, and is a dragon fly alighting from a lily pad with a beautiful white water lily under the dragonfly's wings. My story is about rebirth, and beginning your life anew. I have cicadas, and mosquitoes and honey bees. I love the story about my 'ink'. I am pretty convinced that the story will continue to evolve~ as I strive for the stars every day, and realize I will never be ok with settling.
ReplyDeleteI love your story. And HOW you are telling it is just beautiful. I would love to see your art! xo
DeleteThank you, Lisa, for that thoughtful, loving point of view. And thanks to Nan for eliciting that wisdom and all the great stories. I imagine someone showing your essay to her slightly-less-than-understanding loved ones when considering her first ink and having trouble articulating the reasons for her choice. It deserves wide readership, especially among nervous parents.
ReplyDeleteFolks who castigate tattoos as disfigurement or mutilation may mean well, but they’re missing the point. And to characterize tattoos out of hand as trendy, or badges of rebellion with the goal of shock value, just doesn’t make sense anymore, when it seems these days that most people over a certain age have at least one.
I got my first (and second!) tattoo at the ripe old age of 47. I adore them, and also like the fact that I can show and conceal them at will (one is on my back near my right shoulder, the other is on top of my foot). I had thought about getting a tattoo on and off for more than a decade, after living for a time in New Zealand, where I learned about and fell in love with the tradition of tattooing in the Maori culture. I knew it wouldn't come easy or quick, finding something so meaningful that I'd be comfortable with such indelible and permanent expression. So I was content to live tattoo-free unless something ideal revealed itself to me. When that image finally came along, I was sure it was right. But I gave myself some months to live with the idea, to reassure myself that it wasn't a passing fancy. To have something on one’s skin, something that as it’s applied will actually mix with your blood… well, it’s as close as you can come to literally writing something on your heart.
The image I arrived on had many levels of meaning about who I am and what I love, especially my love for my family and our shared love of words and nonsense. It was a John Tenniel illustration from one of the Alice books by Lewis Carroll, the words of which I first heard in my mother’s beautiful voice when she read to me before bed. When the choice about the tattoo’s appearance didn't waver, then began the search for the perfect someone to execute it. When the artist who was my first choice smiled and exclaimed over the picture and began insightfully discussing the differences between the two Alice books and why he preferred one over the other, I knew I’d found my guy!
The experience of actually getting the tattoo was a good one. A much loved friend accompanied and encouraged me. And in the years since getting it, with life's surprising twists and turns, I've found even more sources of inspiration and shades of meaning in the story of Alice and her travels in Wonderland, making the tattoo even more special to me.
Even though I was a big girl of a certain age when I embarked on my inky adventure, my parents’ reaction was my one real concern. (Do we ever get over wanting our parents to be proud of everything we do?) My “reveals” to family and friends, luckily, have been positive and happy. I know not everyone is surrounded by open-minded loved ones. But if you tell the story of your tattoo in a non-confrontational and loving way, and give them some time to learn about and get used to the new self-expressive you, those close to you might surprise you. My dad seemed more amused and curious than anything else, and my mother was quite touched. Mom gave me a big hug! They asked if it hurt to get them, and the conversation eventually moved on to other things. I guess from my goofy girlhood on, they’re used to my very visible modes of self-expression (hey, I’m a child of the ’80s!).
Lisa, your kids are lucky to have you! What great fortune, having a mom so supportive and respectful of the need for self-expression and exploration... so understanding of that tricky tightrope walk of expressing individuality while holding fast to one’s values and self-respect, all the while searching for that place one belongs in the world. I've said it before, and your wonderful story confirms: You rock! Thanks for sharing.
thank YOU…for sharing your heart and your story and for being so very encouraging! i'm grateful you stopped by. I am blessed to have people like you share little bits and pieces of my life! xo
DeleteI got my first tattoo in my early 20's. And my second about 2 years later.
ReplyDeleteThen I began my piercing phase.
And now, I'm back to wanting a tattoo. I've wanted a new one for quite a few years. Actually would love to rework my old ones... And, honestly, I would love to have a full sleeve. And maybe a very large piece on my back. :)
oooo…if i wasn't so "old" i would totally do a sleeve! i think they are absolutely beautiful! go for it!!
DeleteMy thoughts exactly...about my own ink (7 total, the 1st back in 2004 to honor & commemorate the adoption of my 5th child), the ink three of my children have and had done after they became adults and the possibility that someday my two youngest children might want to get inked as well. Oh and I haave a few more ideas to decorate m,y skin with someday...soon, I hope.
ReplyDeletesee…it's the story. a lot of people don't get that! thank you for sharing!
DeleteI got my first tattoo when I was about 23. It's a cute little cartoon caricature I drew of my cat Elvis. He was a sweet little newborn kitten who was abandoned. I woke up every few hours at night and throughout the day to feed him and he grew into a big black beautiful cat. He was my best friend and I loved him. He only had one eye (an accident when he was very tiny) and it looked like he was giving the "Elvis look" (and I loved rockabilly music!)....so I named him Elvis.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted another one but waited many years, after I got married......and 5 kids later. I accepted Christ a few weeks after I turned 45. I knew right then I wanted to commemorate the occasion. I have 1 Cor 5:17, a cross, icthus & vine design on my wrist. I wanted it to be always visible. I have told my testimony to SO many people I have completely lost count. It is my story and through the tattoo I am able to share it with others. Even the tattoo artist who inked me said he was blown away by my story.
I really want another......but I'm still waiting.
love love love!! such a wonderful story! and what a wonderful tool to share! that makes me so excited! thank you for sharing!
DeleteAfter an encounter I had last night with a reception person at my medical center, my sister in law sent me a link to your post here. I totally love your take on this subject and have come to agree.
ReplyDeleteI freaked out when my daughter got her first tattoo. She was barely 18 at the time...and it was a heart on her... well, we'll call it her hip. I was like you pulled down your pants and had some tatted up dude put that there? I was mortified. Tattoos were for soldiers, gang members, people looking for attention and hookers. I just could not see the point of that tattoo. I still believe that that particular tattoo for her was more about rebellion than anything else. After my mother died of cancer in 2007, she got a large tattoo on her back. It was a picture of a cross that my mother had given her with the star of David in the center of it. This one I was less freaked out about. I still didn't like that she did it...but this one at least had some meaning for her and wasn't in a place where she had to show her nether regions to a grimy tattoo artist. She has had angel wings added to this one since she got it and it's actually quite beautiful. However, I still wasn't completely on board.
As you can imagine, my daughter freaked out when I posted on my facebook page that I was thinking that maybe I wanted to get a tattoo of a purple ribbon for my mom. I don't even really know what prompted me to want it, but I thought about it for a good while after that. My daughter didn't think I'd ever really do it. When I found out about a fundraiser that the shop was doing to benefit a 4 year old with a rare form of cancer... I decided that "now was the time". A few days before I was going to the shop to consult with the artist... my daughter met me there. She didn't want me to do it without her... she just had to see this!! I don't think she really believed I would go through with it and at the same time she didn't want to miss it. The day I got the tattoo, my daughter, her best friend and a friend of mine all went together. We all got ribbon tattoos that night. It was actually pretty cool. Mine is a purple ribbon (pancreatic cancer) with ribbon accents on either side. It's just below my elbow on my inner arm, so it's visible unless I'm wearing long sleeves.
I got my tattoo 2 years ago at the age of 42. After the initial "wow, is that real" questions from my friends and coworkers, nobody really comments or notices it. I don't really get questions or looks or anything. It's just there and it really just means something to me. But, yesterday...something really cool happened. I wrote about it on facebook:
Went to Kaiser after work this evening to have my labs done. The reception area was empty and there was just one guy working there. As he was checking me in, he said "Can I ask you a question?". I was a little thrown because I could tell that it wasn't about my labs. I said "sure". Then he pointed at my tattoo and asked, who's that for? Wow! I was stunned... people never ask me about my tat. I was surprised that I got kind of choked up when I said "my mom". He said, "Me too". Then he pulled back his shirt just a bit to reveal the pink ribbon near his collar bone for his mom. It's so rare and special those little moments when we can connect to a complete stranger. It was kinda bittersweet but cool. Then I took an old favorite trail the rest of the way home...a trail I haven't ridden in years...and I saw a shooting star right in front of me! After the crappy way this day started out... this evening I am content and have a strange feeling of hope.
I never imagined that my tattoo would spark a brief connection. That was pretty cool. So, I guess I've come around to your way of thinking, Lisa! I don't really feel the need for more tattoos for myself, at least not yet. But, I guess you just never know.
wow. that is beautiful. what a cool - unexpected - connection! thank you so much for sharing. you are right…you just never know. :)
DeleteHI, i have 6 tattoos, but didnt start til my early 30s. i waited that long because i wanted to be sure it wasnt just youthful zeal. i consider tham an artistic extension of myself. altho, a few have special meaning. since i dont have children, i had the typical ceramic pawprints done of two of my most beloved pets when they passed. these i had rubbed and made into a design and then placed over my heart. also on my inside wrists i have "Breathe" on the one and "Trust" on the other. they are just visual reminders to me. at 52 im not sure i will get any more altho i have considered a celtic armband in honor of my irish heritage. Is 49:16 says: Behold i have graven you upon the palms of my hands. so i figure thats God getting a tattoo. cindy
ReplyDeleteI love that. They all sound amazing! i do love the stories behind peoples ink…there is always so much meaning and heart! thank you for sharing!
DeleteI have been seriously considering a tattoo for over a year now. Micah 4:13 in the Message Bible says "On your feet daughter of Zion! Be refined of dross, be threshed of chaff. For I am making you into a people invincible!" This verse has resonated with me and everywhere I have turned over the past year I have read or heard (in worship music and God's voice to my heart), "rise up! Arise!" God has been so faithful to me my whole life and has brought me from being a shy quiet girl to a Warrior Princess of the most high God! My 50th birthday is Nov 30 and I just might get my first ink - that scripture reference inside my right wrist - where I will see it every day!
ReplyDeletei LOVE that. A warrior princess of the most high God. Beautiful!! I love my ink on my wrist…i just said that to my daughter today. it is such a wonderful daily reminder! let me know if you do it!
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