30 April 2014

A wedding. A marriage. A life. Twenty years.


Twenty years. Two Zero. Two decades. The average lifespan of a monkey. Or a furnace!
Twenty years.
Twenty years is a long time to share your life with someone else.


Twenty years of love.
Twenty years of laughter.
Twenty years of smiles.
Twenty years of joy.

But that is not a truly accurate picture…is it?
Let's face it, twenty years of living with another human being has all sorts of challenges as well.
Twenty years of him not doing things my way.
Twenty years of me not being encouraging wife.
Twenty years of disappointments.
Twenty years of unmet expectations.
Twenty years of unexpected tears.

But those "bad" things are just part of life. Part of marriage. And they truly don't dominate. The bad ebbs and flows. Sometimes seasonal. Sometimes circumstantial. Sometimes hormonal.
It is a foundation of love. The cornerstone of commitment. And a deep rooted faith. That is the "magic" triumvirate that carried us through the tough days. The days we never thought we would survive.

That commitment. That commitment gave us the wherewithal to fight. Fight for our marriage. Fight for each other. Even when we didn't want to. Even when it seemed like it would have been easier to just walk away. Give up. Throw in the towel and count our losses.

But.
I promised him. He promised me.
For better or for worse. But when we stand there in front of each other, in front of our friends, saying those vows...we are only thinking of "the better". When "the worse" comes. And baby...it will. We want to run. We want to hide. We want to give up. We want to take care of ME. That SEEMS easier. That is not commitment.

We have loved each other through unlovable stages. Sometimes it's a very fine line between love and hate. Emotions are curious like that.
Yes we have talked about divorce. More like screamed on occasion.
We also got help when we needed it. Earthly help from a counselor who taught us how to be better. Who taught us how to keep our commitment. Who showed us how to look in the mirror.

And we got spiritual health. Not only are we committed to each other. We are committed to our God. For us? Well, that's the secret ingredient. We cried out to our God. We asked him to heal our marriage.

Twenty years.
I love this man more than I thought was humanly possible to love another. I respect him. I adore him. He is MY person. And I am so very proud to be his wife.

Is he perfect? Hardly! Does he tick me off? Every day. Are there things about him I would like to change? Absolutely!
But then I'm reminded... look in the mirror. He chooses to love me too.

Happy anniversary Jonathan. You promised me 60 years. We are one third of the way through. Here's to us baby. I love you with all my heart. You make me better. You complete me. And I would say YES, all over again. Twenty years. We have so many reasons to celebrate! Four of them are right under our roof. 
Yours. Always. ~ lisa

And I even opened the seal on my wedding dress after 19 years. It still fit.
My vows…I wrote them twenty years ago...they still hold very true today…
Jonathan,
Not only are you my best friend, but you are truly my special gift from God. God has blessed me so richly by bringing you into my life. Because of you, I have found new meaning to he the words love, honor and respect.
On this day, as we stand before our God, our family and our friends, I pledge my constant love and faithfulness to you. As your God-given wife my deepest desire is to be always supportive…and to be the one you look to for encouragement and hope. I promise to respect and honor you as my husband. And in everything I do…I promise to put the Lord first in our home. I will always cherish you Jonathan, as my partner…for life.

6 comments:

  1. Thank you for putting into words my same thoughts. I love you with all that I am.
    Forever and always, Jonathan

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  2. Truthful. Beautiful.
    Also, I wonder how many brides can wear their wedding dress 20 years later.
    Congratulations, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a nice tribute to your marriage. So glad I clicked to read.

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    Replies
    1. thank you so much! i'm glad you clicked through too!

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xo, lisa